Time Out

Boy, time sure moves fast. I look back on this past month alone and can hardly believe the amount of hours I’ve spent working on the Serenity of Knowing. I also have to acknowledge the hours that have gotten away as well. I’ve tried to keep a journal that documents my daily activity, but I don’t seem to have the skill to keep pace with the speed of light. On the days when I don’t have to inch myself awake to be driven to the hospital for chemotherapy, or IVIG, or blood transfusions, I will often wait in the waxing sun light for my nurse to arrive to “check my vitals.” I’ve been hovering around 98 over 53 of late – a new normal for me.

On those mornings I’m a wastrel, slow to get out of my bathrobe. Still, at other times I am able to spring to my desk to renew my acquaintance with the dramas of the Apocrypha and such. My books have remained open and ready for my attention even after I have neglected them in favor of tasks like laundry and cake. These are filed away as soon as they are accomplished. On the other hand, Esdras, the Prophets, and all the stories devolving to the opening line of Genesis are ever stalwarts, never leaving me desolate. This is whether or not I’ve managed to write for ten minutes or for ten hours.

In the end is it not possible that no one will judge us for how we have used our time except for maybe ourselves. Surely there is nobility in washing clothes and changing diapers, or having a beer with one’s buddies. I would perhaps go so far as to say that there is some kind of nobility in hand writing the Bible. As for me, I’m deciding how to use this upcoming moment. Whoa! It’s already getting away.

As published in the November 2011 issue of "St. Peter's Press," the monthly newsletter of St. Peter's Presbyterian Church in Spencertown, New York. At the time of publication, Phillip was still in the throes of the Apocrypha.