The Atheist

In the wake of the Wall Street Journal article that wrote about my journey through the Bible, a particular interviewer had sought to examine my integrity with regard to The Serenity of Knowing. I had been advised that she would use her atheist’s plumb line to keep me honest. What’s more, her reputation as a deep thinker preceded her long shadow. I squared up my shoulders and took a “Bring it on” attitude. The truth is: I was shaking in my boots. But sorry kids – I must confess; I was relieved when the interview did not materialize. Whew! 

The full range of my beliefs and convictions go on a roller coaster ride nearly every day. I hang on with broken and chipped nails to each chapter and verse. All too often I am unable to follow the thread which leads to the punch line of a long narrative that ends up saying “no” when I was certain it would say “yes.” 

Subsequently, the same question asked on separate days is just as likely to receive conflicting answers, as not. I was most comfortable when quoted in the WSJ, as saying, “I know nothing.” So for the time being, at least, I will cease quoting scripture in my writings. Even if one might argue that it is impossible for me to know nothing, in terms of Biblical text, I will demur that I certainly do not know enough. What I will allow, however, is that in the miasma of shifting sands and spilled milk, I have discovered my own personal euphoria in all this talk about God. 

Humph, that could have been my fallback position with the atheist. Drat!

As published in the February issue of "St. Peter's Press," the monthly newsletter of St. Peter's Presbyterian Church in Spencertown, New York. At the time of publication, Phillip was still in the throes of the Apocrypha.